Our Lady of Sorrows

Today’s feast is a reminder of what sorrow means and how a Christian should face suffering and sorrow. We can have sorrow for something or someone, or with someone. The sorrow Mary experiences at the foot of the Cross is sorrow for sin. It is not her sin, but how sin has ravaged the life of her innocent son and how sin ravages us all, even when we are not responsible for it. Mary received special graces in her to life to protect her from the effects of Original Sin (see Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception), but those graces were won by her son on the Cross, who suffered and died due to sin. Mary’s sorrow comes from the love and gratitude she has for her son.

The sorrow Mary also experiences is the sorrow that stems from compassion. Compassion literally means “with suffering”: Mary’s sorrow comes from making her son’s suffering her own. The sorrow we share when a loved one is suffering makes a deep connection. It is a spiritual solidarity that helps the afflicted see that they are not alone. Our Lord himself in today’s Gospel entrusts the Blessed Mother to his Beloved Disciple so that she too would not have to suffer alone. Our Lady of Sorrows continues this mission of compassion: when we are suffering, she is there to console us and to suffer with us, and we thank her for that today.

Our Lord promised there’d be trials in the world. Let’s thank Our Blessed Mother today for suffering them with us and show compassion toward others who are afflicted.

Readings: Hebrews 5:7–9; Psalm 31:2, 3b–6, 15–16, 20; John 19:25–27. See also Good Friday, Commemoration of the Lord’s Passion (2), Our Lady of Sorrows, and Good Friday, Commemoration of the Lord’s Passion.

When this feast first appeared in the Roman Missal, it was called Our Lady of Compassion. Today we remember the triumph of Mary’s compassion. In the classical meaning of the term, “compassion” means suffering with someone; today it means continuing to care. At the foot of the Cross Mary’s compassion triumphed in both senses. When we remember her as Our Lady of Sorrows, we don’t just remember that sad day on Calvary. The Church has traditionally contemplated seven sorrows of Mary. God was preparing Mary with each sorrow and strengthening her for the greatest sorrow to come: the suffering and death of her Son. Our Lady of Sorrows is a feast of the spiritual martyrdom of Mary. She definitively died to herself for the sake of her son, became our mother, and that death to self gave her strength amidst the sorrow.

In the First Sorrow–the prophecy of Simeon–she has to see Jesus bleed for the first time at the circumcision, a foreshadowing of his suffering and death on the cross, and receives a warning from Simeon that a sword would pierce her heart too: she had to be strong for the sorrows to come.

In the Second Sorrow–the flight into Egypt–Herod and his thugs drive the Holy Family from their home, and Mary has to experience for the first time what it means for people to wish the death of her son. She has to live far away from family and friends, and take what poor belongings they have and live far away from Palestine.

In the Third Sorrow–the loss of Jesus in the Temple–she has to face the agony of losing her son and not being able to find him. When she does find him, he tells her it is part of God’s plan, preparing her for the definitive separation of death.

In the Fourth Sorrow–Mary meets Jesus on the way to the cross–she must draw from all the things she had treasured in her heart, and when the moment came of seeing her beloved son bleeding, separated from her, and in the hands of those who wanted his death, she found strength in her sorrow to go on for his sake. Her simple perseverance helps Jesus to see that all his suffering will be worthwhile. He sees the fruits in her of his sacrifice. A mother could be selfish and rob her child of his self-resolve in a moment. But Mary puts others first in her sorrow.

In the Fifth Sorrow–Jesus Dies on the Cross–her worst fears are realized. Her son is dead, but she is not alone. The other holy women are there to mourn with her. John has taken her into his home. But she has to be strong for them. And that is what she wants to teach us on her feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. The secret to strength in sorrow is to turn to helping and consoling others, not falling into self-pity or despair. In this moment she receives the whole Church as her mother, and she becomes our mother–one of the lowest moments, humanly speaking, of her life.

In the Sixth Sorrow–Mary receives the dead body of her son–we contemplate her as she holds her lifeless son in her arms, depicted by many artists in many ways. We can imagine the serene and sad offering of her son depicted in the Pietà, or the penetrating gaze of Maria Morgenstern in Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. In the midst of suffering and pain she offers the thing she loves the most to the heavenly Father.

Finally in the Seventh Sorrow–Jesus is laid in the tomb–the Way of the Cross and the Seven Sorrows converge. As she sees her son laid in the tomb, Mary begins a lonely vigil of faith and hope in the promises made to her by the angel and Simeon so many years before.

The Christian life is a life of crosses. We all have to live moments of sorrow, but we know Mary will be at our side, forged by the compassion she showed in the face of suffering. Like her, let’s show compassion for others, even in life’s most sorrowful moments.

Readings: Hebrews 5:7–9; Psalm 31:2, 3b–6, 15–16, 20; John 19:25–27; Luke 2:33–35.